nixon

I am so sick of everything. It finally came to a head... I just feel so angry. I tried opening up to my mother, tried telling her things that I would normally never do and letting her in on a part of myself that had always remained closed. I felt obligated to take that chance and open up... and at first glance it seemed fine, but after two weeks she has turned around and thrown everything back into my face, judging and controlling and breaking me down. I feel so foolish. And the cynical part of me is taking over..I don't want to fight it.

How can someone tell me I am wrong? Tell me what I should do with my life and my relationships? Impose their judgement and taint the situation with venom and malice?

She said it so forcefully...and it makes me wonder how a mother can be the participant in stripping her daughter of everything that she loves in her life. For the sake of pride? To teach me a lesson? Revenge or jealously?

I have to cling to the part of myself that knows this isn't right...the part that knows the difference between something like love as opposed to pride and a misplaced sense of self-righteousness.