Thinking...

Why must the world be so overrun with mushrooms? All I wanted was a good, fungi-free lasagna

You know what I hate?
That feeling that you have so much to say, so much to spew out into the black abyss of the internet, and the anticipation of the satisfaction of posting a good blog entry, like somehow you contributed a part of yourself to the world. So you begin, you start thinking about what exactly to write, how to separate all the fog in your head and form a sensical paragraph that other people could possibly relate to.
Five minutes in, you realize you have no idea how to describe you feel or what you think, there is no way to untie all the knots in your head and show off a clean, linear thought process. So you delete your shitty attempt at writing and close the window, disappointed. Fuck.

2010 you were good to me

Over the past couple months I've become very aware of the fact that my life is awesome. I'm constantly thinking; I am so happy right now. In this moment. The whole concept of "living only in the now" is so hard to grasp...I can understand stopping and soaking in how good something is, but the idea of throwing plans away scares me. I didn't really want to turn 19 because 18 has been so good in itself.  On the other hand, sometimes when I'm in one of those "now" moods, I start thinking about the fact that I'm still so young and how good it feels to just be alive at this second. My hands get tingly and I stare down at them and think about how amazing it is that I am a person...and for a second it feels like I exist separately from my body and then I snap back down to earth. In a couple weekends I'm going to do acid and I cannot wait.  I feel like all the fluid ideas in my head will mould themselves into thoughts that I always had the capability of having but just never developed them. I'm excited. It's so exciting to be young and alive.