Some days are better than others. Today is a hard day, I get a sharp pain when I breathe in, my mind is useless and keeps running over the same things constantly. Over and over and over again. I distort all our conversations and make myself say the things I wish I had, I make you laugh more and you hug me harder. I should be maintaining that hope, letting it sit and fester, watering it occasionally, but I guess there just comes a point where facades for your own sake just don’t work. It has to be genuine, and I’m sure eventually I’ll wake up and the intensity of this will have diminished and I can be happy and hopeful again. Only a few more weeks to go, with any luck.
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