i drive my car really fast and get to Cleveland that much sooner.

"friendships can be repaired."
i saw how you looked at me today,
i was crying from laughing with someone else.
my heart stopped and sunk.
BRAKE AND ANCHOR.
That's the ticket!!
i don't know it's implications and consequences yet,


the problem with this though is that my complex with being unreliant on people and doing things for myself has just been strenghtened, not to mention the fact that trust has been shaken up, and is this a universal feeling of say what you mean, mean what you say? Arg.




on another note, i can't decide if i'm bored in school or just inherently lazy. all i really want to do is nothing, or everything i guess. it just feels like i'm wasting my time with unimportant assignments that really add nothing to my life. the problem with living fully is that once you have it's hard to go back to a half-assed existence. last year i didn't know any better so it wasn't hard, but now i just want to skip the boring bits and jump right to the action, my soul feels like it's wasting away being spent copying notes about things I don't care. it wouldn't be so bad if there was something clear that I did care about, but because there's not and i'm all confused and pressured it makes everything much much more difficult to decide upon.