In the spirit of the week

Stating the obvious- it's been a while. I've had this blog for about seven years, can't believe a whole year went by without posting anything. I started writing a few times, but it never went anywhere. Nonetheless, I am glad that the internet exists for people like me to document their personal growth.

I've been thinking lately about how much you can tell from a person's gaze. I have an old friend whose eyes betray him, sometimes just for a split second, but it's enough. My stomach drops and I'm always tempted to point out the falseness of his words. But in the end, who could be so cruel as to point out to someone that their life is convinced, they are fooling themselves? I've been there myself, it's a slow and painful process to break out of it. Some people never do.

Another example: in a shop the other day, a nice employee struck up a conversation with me, but after I paid, I noticed she deliberately didn't meet my gaze. For the rest of the day I was kind of anxious about it, wondering if I had not tipped enough and disappointed her. It leaves me wondering if I am perceptive or just insane.

Years ago I met a Native man who looked right at me, said I had 'clear eyes' and was therefore allowed to enter his home. I wonder what it was he saw...naivety? Innocence? Idealism? If I saw him again, would he say the same thing?