illusion never changed into something real

My dreams are so vivid and in them things are the way they are supposed to be. Or so I always thought. It's hard being blind and alone and I guess I never gave myself enough credit of ignorance. A few weeks ago those dreams would have made my heart beat faster but now they just slow it so all I feel is a slow, aching, thud.
I wonder if anything more could make it slow to a stop.
Please no.