one of those days where you feel surrounded by people but incredibly.... isolated.
nothing is good, only mediocre and everybody is going at each other with knives and tongues and there is nothing to do.
i can't believe i was lied to, the list of lies is growing longer than i can manage but i don't know what to do. "I miss you, heather". i miss the truth.
and as for you, i'm mad and hurt, you don't know, and i don't think you even suspect. we're drifting, drifting, drifting,
i'm done with trying to stop it. i feel like it is so one-sided, and if you are fine with letting it happen then it's not worth it for me to try and fix. life is a bitch that way, it's your own fault.
i'm swimming, there is anticipation of the rotation of people in my life... it's happening it's happening it's happening again.
"Never rode on the plains, never thought I couldn't stay
Had a good run anyway, had a good run anyway"
my empty inbox is stark confirmation.
Tell me you love me, i can't pretend i didn't. i remember the winter i went running in the country, with my white sneakers and a body of steel. was it last year? the year before then? the house smelled like vegetables, i remember the clock was so loud. time went slowly there, the mundane activities so much less vital. but i've healed since then.
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