Sometimes I wish I could stop dying, but it's too late, I'm at the deep end with cement shoes, darling

The phone conversation tonight was so awkward, with a few long, silent, pauses. I think you thought my heart wasn't in it, I think you might be right. I'm a bad consoler, all that comes out of my mouth is essentially overused, typical shit. All I want is to know what exactly I want, but deep down I'm having trouble picking sides because I'm just too eager to please.